It is easy to consider our lives as work life v’s home life, and to, in there somewhere, find a balance between the two that is just right for us. However, this dual aspect perspective isn’t the whole story, and balance is not as easily attainable as we’d hoped.
When working with clients and reviewing their ideas of balance, we explore the different domains that require their time and energy. Coaching is person-centred and very specific to the individual, however, in a generalised approach, we can consider our experience from three perspectives, which together make up our unique ecosystem of places, people, activities, thoughts and feelings:
Persistent productivity and purposefulness can encompass any of these perspectives and could include them all. Balance cannot be found by determining a clearly defined quantity of time and energy allocation to each area; it is a complex and dynamic relationship between our internal needs and the external needs of our unique ecosystem that must be listened to, and with this awareness, we can adjust our attention to feel accomplishment in each area without neglecting the others.
When we feel the pressure to perform or to provide, the temptation is to give more energy and give more time to meet those demands. However, attempting to meet them without meeting our individual needs can often lead to undesired and unexpected outcomes. On top of the physical, psychological and emotional impacts this can have, it can lead to reduced creativity, problem-solving and decision making.
The cycle perpetuates itself, for a disproportionate focus on the needs of our ecosystem, and overworking to perform or provide can reduce positive decision-making, leading to a stacking of poor decisions that impact our overall wellness, specifically our wellness foundations: poor sleep, poor food and drink choices, inactivity, and reduced quality social interactions. In the long term, continued focus on over working increases mortality risk, risk of chronic health conditions and reduced overall quality of life.
Embracing Control and Clarity as a Status Symbol
Brené Brown captures it perfectly in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, where her seventh guidepost is “Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth.” The era of wearing exhaustion as a badge of honour—sacrificing self-care, time with loved ones, and even our basic needs in the name of hard work—is behind us.
Embracing self-worth that isn’t tied to productivity or purpose can feel like an uphill battle. Success is deeply subjective and often hard to quantify. As humans, we naturally gravitate toward metrics that are easy to measure and share: the number of hours worked, the late-night project completions, or the amount of praise or ‘likes’ we’ve received. These tangible markers are easier to convey—to others and to ourselves—than the quiet satisfaction of completing a task as planned and using the extra time to meet our needs.
Once we redefine what self-worth means to us, reimagine success on our own terms, and let go of the notion that exhaustion defines our value, we can begin to live without overwhelm or the constant pressure to always be ‘doing.’, and cultivate a lifestyle that improves our wellbeing. Our newly designed lifestyle will have us feeling our personal sphere, our intimate connections, and our external engagements are all in balance so we feel accomplished and fulfilled, along with meeting the needs of others around us.
How To Apply This Knowledge
Bring this knowledge to your decision-making and your coaching sessions, make faster progress toward your goals, and live a happier and healthier life.
Do you want to explore this further through coaching? Returning clients, book your next session or group programme today. For new clients, book a Discovery Call to find out more.
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