Written by: Marelle-Merita Seren, Online Holistic Fitness Coach
For many of us, our relationship with food is complicated. Diet culture promotes quick fixes, restriction, and labels foods as “good” or “bad”. Often, we’ve also learned to find comfort in food when dealing with difficult emotions. Unfortunately, our connection to our bodies can get buried under years of dieting, negative self-talk, and emotional eating patterns. Healing your relationship with food is about more than changing what you eat; it’s about reconditioning how you think and feel about food and yourself.
Step 1: Recognize Emotional Triggers and Patterns
One of the first steps in healing is to understand the emotions driving your food choices. Stress, sadness, or even boredom often lead us to reach for comfort foods, forming emotional eating habits instead of regulating our emotions. When our cravings are fuelled by emotions, they tend to be very intense and specific. Start by bringing more awareness to your cravings and any emotional stress you may be experiencing. Realize that food is not the enemy. When you’re eating when sad, what does food provide for you? Comfort, happiness? These are not bad things, are they? However, food is not the solution, and we should try to find why we lack these emotions in the first place.
Try asking yourself these questions:
What emotions tend to make me crave certain foods?
Which good emotions do I feel when eating?
How do I feel about food?
How do I usually feel after eating?
Actionable Tip:
Try journaling about your emotions each time you feel a craving. Not only does this offer insight into your triggers, but it also gives you a moment to pause and process before reacting. Over time, you’ll start to recognize recurring patterns and be more prepared to redirect those emotions toward positive outlets.
Step 2: Start Practicing Intuitive Eating
Intuitive eating is about listening to your body rather than external rules or restrictions. Start tuning in to your hunger and fullness cues, focusing on what your body needs rather than what diet culture says is right or wrong. Building this trust is crucial.
Actionable Tip:
Before every meal, pause to assess your hunger on a scale of 1-10. During meals, periodically check in on how you feel—full, content, or still hungry. This helps you reconnect with your natural hunger signals and learn to stop when you’re satisfied. You can also note how long after eating certain foods you feel hungry again and whether the meal made you feel energized or not.
Step 3: Mindful Eating: Bringing Awareness to Each Bite
Mindful eating enhances your enjoyment and satisfaction with food. This means slowing down, savoring each bite, and appreciating your food’s flavor, texture, and aroma. Research also supports that mindfulness can help reduce overeating and promote better digestion. Try to be fully present and avoid distractions like the TV, social media or working while eating, if possible. Also note that we often won’t want to eat the same amount every day, and this can be because of where we are in our cycle, how active we’ve been and our sleep quality, amongst other things.
Actionable Tip:
Start small by dedicating one meal a day to eating without distractions. Sit in a peaceful space, free of phones or screens, and take time to savour each bite fully.
Step 4: From Guilt to Gratitude
Our mindset around food often impacts how we feel about ourselves. Shift from guilt to gratitude by appreciating the nourishment that food provides. Reframe your inner dialogue from “I shouldn’t have eaten that” to “I’m grateful for this food that fuels my body.” This also applies when you overeat. We won’t break the pattern with guilt and shame, this only keeps us in the vicious cycle.
Actionable Tip:
End each meal by acknowledging one way the food will benefit your body—whether it’s boosting your energy, helping you stay focused, or supporting your immune system. This mindset shift helps to create a more compassionate attitude toward food and your body.
Step 5: Reconnect with Your Body
Building a healthier relationship with food is also about reconnecting with your body and trusting its cues. Rather than focusing on weight or size, consider how you feel in your body and what foods make you feel your best.
Every 5-step program isn’t perfect for each person, but these 5 steps have helped me on my journey, and I believe they can help you as well. Healing your relationship with food is a journey that requires patience and kindness towards yourself. Sometimes, it is difficult for us to be kind and patient with ourselves, which is also why I recommend working alongside a coach who will encourage you with your journey and keep you patient and kind to yourself.
Work with Marelle-Merita
Marelle-Merita is a passionate coach and trainer dedicated to helping individuals meet their physical wellness needs.
She offers tailored exercises delivered through an app to target your unique goals and fitness level, plus coaching to make healthy choices on your own, so you'll never need to follow another diet again.
Find out more here:
How To Start Making a Change
Follow the 5-steps outlined above.
How Coaching Could Support You
Wellness coaching, just like fitness coaching, is personalised to your needs and your desired focus is at the centre of each session. When it comes to our physical wellness, often we know what may support us, but we are also given confusing messages about what we 'should' do. Coaching helps you figure out what you need and what works for you for improved and sustainable wellness.
Find out more about coaching with me here.
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